A Spirit of Humiliation
Catharina Schouten
Word out of 2005 and rewritten in 2010
I am almost for 20 years His child now and I remember how people in the beginning of my walk with Abba once told me, Catharina you have sometimes a behavior that is not from the Lord! I could be very angry, and begin to talk very loud and fast so no one could interrupt me!
So back then I asked the Lord: "Father please tell me what is going on? I want to be pure and holy"
Almost immediately I was back in the past, when I was a young girl, a child... Experiences came back, where I was humiliated at school and other occasions. The puzzle felt on his place!
Not only my own experiences came back, also the stories of the people which I have prayed with for deliverance came in my mind... Many of them faced humiliation also after they converted and went to a congregation.
Especially the women whose children where accused and humiliated in congregations suffered great pains, and it seems impossible to forgive! We can read in the Bible that those who humble themselves, the Lord will give them honor!
People who have been humiliated very often have friendships that almost come to a point of a type of 'soul connection.' or they cannot take care of friendships, because from both sides is a kind of fear of being humiliated again, what will stand between the friendship. Or they kept their distance after one of their humiliating experiences, and stay alone without having any friendship or relationship...
Or they just grew into a deeper relationship with each other--almost to the point of crawling inside the other's skin....
When we become infected [saturated, or infused] with a spirit of humiliation--because you were humiliated when situations brought you down--self-protectionism will tend to reveal itself in you and show in your actions and countenance.
Have you begun to act arrogant or disdainful? Or do you begin to show a very humble attitude and, as we would say in Dutch: "I lick your heels"--trying extremely hard to act very nice--perhaps out of soul force in Watchman Nee terms--instead of out of a natural-supernatural outflow of Christ's humility born of His Spirit flowing out of you?
Someone not so long ago prayed off a 'spirit of humiliation' from someone else. This may be a key necessity.
And the **vision of the 'octopus' that Johan Landman saw also has to do with this . . .
To insult someone (to eject someone from fellowship or intimacy that was rightfully theirs, reject someone) making them blind, keeping someone blind . . .
The result may be falling into those tentacles that will strangle you, destroy you . . .
I REALIZED that we must break this spirit of humiliation!
We must break this spirit from over ourselves and from over each other! AND, THEN, WE MUST FORGIVE OURSELVES AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER!
QUOTE: THE ISRAELITES CAME OUT of Egypt but Egypt had to leave, also, out of Them !
We are sons and daughters of the MOST HIGH! We are HIS HEIRS ''CHILDREN''
Every time I began to talk fast, talk long such that the other person couldn't begin to reply or comment--I felt deep inside of me, the FEAR . . . to be accused again, to be humiliated.
And the root: The utter abject FEAR of being rejected--FROM THE FATHER--who might say: "YOU HAVE BEEN BEHAVING WRONGLY and YOU HAVE FAILED!
WHAT TERROR SUCH A PROSPECT BRINGS!
QUOTE: the Father tells you, ''Very deep down inside of you , you still don't believe in My UNCONDITIONAL LOVE !
The Father healed me from all of this and He can do the same for you!
If we have had deep humiliation or rejection, or in our childhood not have learned to bind to a fathers or mothers heart and not know how to trust or to be stable, (sickness or the death of a mother can bring you to situations that many times you where raised up by somebody else and maybe you will inherently fear that this person will leave again). Then through the years we will act like; I call it: ''don't give it water ''behavior.
FOR EXAMPLE:
On your birthday you will get a beautiful plant, ... it starts blooming you give it A small amount of fertilizer, the right type and mixture, . . . you know how to cut, and when to water it...................but after 3 weeks the plant died! You’ve done so well, but after all it `s gone! At the next birthday party, you will happen to get the same plant. And, although you’re taking good care of it, this plant also dies
When this occasion happens too many times, with the plants you get, you might say "I put him on the window shelf and I will NOT water him, because it will die after all, no matter what I do!
The Father is busy to weave a pattern for His Army, His Bride! Unity in and through His Spirit!
We have to acknowledge that NO ONE went through life without pain......... Evil Spirits, Evil Powers are going to be broken at this very moment This last week someone told me:
In the (traditional) church the eyes for DELIVERANCE are going to open! BEAUTIFUL!
But now we must break this spirit of humiliation (also from each other) Break it, and FORGIVE each other!
Also, forgive YOURSELF . . . AND . . . UNEMPOWER, REMOVE, CUT OFF-- THROUGH PRAYER REPENT OF SUCH AND RENDER SUCH NEGATIVE WORDS NULL AND VOID, NEUTRALIZED, REMOVED. Deal with all the negative words you have spoken over yourself and each other! Pray until your attitude is changed from "the plant will die anyway, it will not work out" to:
THAT spirit IS BROKEN, GONE, REMOVED BY THE CROSS, THE BLOOD AND THE SPIRIT--GONE! AND (very important)
We must then put our trust in The Father because HE is the ONE who makes UNITY REAL. When it seems too difficult to impossible to do on our own, we must ask The Father to cut out all parts and residue of such a spirit and any related structures and habits and ASK HIM to enable and empower us TO TRUST HIM-- that HE would place THE TRUST OF JESUS FOR THE FATHER WITHIN US--THAT HE WOULD WORK IT INTO THE FABRIC AND FIBER OF OUR BEING FROM THE SUBATOMIC PARTICLE LEVEL ON UP TO OUR WHOLE BODY, COUNTENANCE-- OUR WHOLE BEING AND ALL OUR DOINGS.
Quote: This plant (UNITY) HE shall take care of it with fresh water from a soft and Spirit full of kindness, and He will plant it.
We are acceptable , all of us! You are valuable! You are not to be humiliated, and no one should humiliate you! I still remember, not so long ago, we had to break a spirit of; "We know everything we can almost act without HIS help" and a spirit of the Body that kept being on a level of "drinking milk" and this all happened in the spirit of the so called ministries and leadership! At that time, the Father already told me that these two thoughts (Spirits) had strengthened each other ! The Spirit that says we are already there , we know everything , acknowledged the spirit of that we need leaders to do everything for us, we can’t even pray by ourselves yet ....
While everyone who has being born again, has been conceived of the Holy Spirit. While we are one church! Someone has a word , the other has a vision, there are many gifts BUT all comes from one Spirit. There are Teachers, Shepherds, Apostles, Evangelists , and Prophets to direct and to give..... But still by SERVING ..
You can pray this prayer, but let it be led by Him:
I will humble myself, (Bow before YOU Father) You will raise me up! I don't want to be humiliated or humiliate, (And I do not want to do that towards others,) not in the way of being despised , being accused, kept small, being cut out, etc...
I want to forgive everyone who has humiliated me Abba Father will You help me with this ..... Only through You, and in You we are able to forgive. I ask whosoever I have treated not well to forgive me, and may they also forgive me Father . Let Your blood come over me , and over us , to cleans us from this spirit! So that through anyone of us Your Spirit with his gifts will be seen !
AMEN!
;l